Here’s how it goes. You tell me that you really want to make some changes in your life.
“I hate my body,” you say.
I remind you that speaking to yourself with words like that will enhance your self-loathing quickly and easily.
I offer you an option. Go to the mirror and say this to yourself:
I am a loving, caring being. My body is the receiver of my intuition. My eyes can see, my ears can hear, my skin can feel the wind…”
The idea is to talk to yourself like the most loving mother to a beloved child.
And so you do.
I then suggest that you find some way of moving your body. Just get yourself out the door to walk around the block for 5 minutes.
No more. Really. If that’s all your Inner Critic or Saboteur lets you do.
Do you know why 5 minutes?
Because the body and mind enjoy even those brief 5 minutes.
Those 5 minutes – guess what – give you hope. They give you hope that soon you’ll go further and one day, take yourself to the gym.
The smallest actions on your behalf silence the Inner Critic and let you know that YOU are in charge.
Soon you may walk for 10 minutes! What the heck, you’re out anyway. You do it and it works!
You tell me you’re bored, nothing to get up for. Okay, I get it. I remember.
So I tell you, find something you love. It doesn’t matter what and it’s not forever.
One small movement forward is all the Inner Critic needs to let go of its grip.
Yes, that’s all. Find something you like even a little – and if it helps someone else, that’ll be even better.
You find something. Yay! Down the street you know of a community garden. You love to get your hands into the soil and you go, you help someone with weeding and really enjoy yourself.
You just needed to begin loving or liking something – anything.
You tell me you feel great.
And then, the predictable moment.
You Give Up
You stop the love yourself mirror exercise.
Trying to explain, defend your decision and rationalize, you tell me that you are not a consistent person. You can’t commit. You’re not persistent.
And that’s exactly the way you drop the ball on yourself.
First of all, none of us are machines, so we will be inconsistent at times and can still keep our eye on our intentions, dreams and commitments.
Are you true to your word with others? Do you promise them things and then disappoint them time and time again?
If you do, you may need help.
Most of you are not in this category.
So what about being true to your word with yourself? Do you promise that you’ll do something and then rescind?
If so, here’s what you need to answer for yourself so you succeed.
1. What impact is your unhappiness having? On you, on others? Does it matter to you?
2. What if your situation never changed? Is that okay with you?
3. What would you get if you did change? How would your life be different?
Grow Up. Show Up. Turn Pro.
I know you want to feel better and that you want a gorgeous life.
I know you want more or you wouldn’t be here.
If you are reading this and are past your teens (so we know that your brain is fully developed!) you know that for anything to change, you go after it, make big efforts over time – and you stay with it.
That’s true for anything any of us ever wanted.
It took time and effort. A lot of both.
You don’t give up. You stay for the long haul, day after day.
Now you can stamp your feet and get mad at me for telling you what you already know.
But I want for you what you want for yourself.
Freedom and happiness.
Can you imagine the freedom you will get when you let yourself move within the span of an entire lifetime rather than having to get to the end result immediately?
Letting yourself sink into spacious, timeless time, you get to refine your choices, change your habits, breathe deeply and relax.
And yes, because of this spacious holding and commitment to your dreams, you will get the results you crave.
Those results will show up in subtle ways even today. Celebrate them!
The truth is that your Saboteur is not in charge. You are. You are making choices every day.
Steven Pressfield’s books, The War of Art and Turning Pro helped kick my butt artfully and may help you.
In Do the Work! he writes:
Where do our own real thoughts come from? How can we access them? From what source does our true, authentic self speak? Answering that is the work you and I will do for the rest of our lives.
Make the right choices. Access your thoughts from the well of a kind imagination. You are worth it and you matter.
And here’s some fairy dust and love to send you on your way and wipe those tears, because you really can call on magic and your imagination to carry you forward.
And if your journey needs a bit of extra help, connect with me for a complimentary Clarity Session so we can see where you are, what you want, and how to get there.
Over to You
Where in your life are you committed to showing up for the long run? I bet there are a few ways you do that already. Where else? Please comment below.
When you write, readers learn that they are not alone.
Be vulnerable. It makes you precious.
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© Miriam Linderman 2014