As we become clearer about who we are and who we are not, we may take a little or a long time in letting others know.
Jungian analyst Murray Stein defines individuation as “the process of psychic development that leads to the conscious awareness of wholeness. Not to be confused with individualism.” This is one way of coming to oneself.
In The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz discusses what he calls domestication and the dream of the planet – “rules and concepts about how to behave in the world [which become] the belief system that controls our whole dream of life.”
This domestication process which starts in childhood, is so powerful that as adults we continue to behave, believe and react in these conditioned ways until one day, we come to know that we are someone else. Then we realize that we have never been in love with the colour blue at all, though it has always been a family tradition. In fact, we love fuchsia.
We don’t have to be as ambitious as aiming for individuation or enlightenment which for most of us will be lifelong processes. Each is started with a single step, in any case. It can be extraordinary just to speak up, speak out and come out.
In the many years spent in corporations, I had a lot to hide in order to fit in. (Fat chance that.) So here I am at the completion of that era, determined to be as much of who I am, to do what was most difficult to do before, and to be of service to those who also want their own lives back.
That I am in love with all things Jungian and the work of Marion Woodman particularly, has been part of that slow excavation to see the light of day.
What I am risking seems small. Still, after so much hiding, those little bits that do come out, they can leave me shaking.
What’s the fuchsia part of you waiting to be seen?