Good, conscious, loving and well-intentioned people that I care about are hard on themselves and end up feeling badly.
It’s painful to watch, worse to be in it, and mostly avoidable.
I know all about this and work at changing it daily.
Far too many people think that self-care and self-kindness is unnecessary for adults. Not so.
Human beings need encouragement.
Make your heart feel safe
You are human and not a machine. You have a heart. And when your heart feels safe, it becomes tender and soft. Then, living feels good.
Love makes the heart relax. Love makes your whole being come home to itself. This internal feeling of love comes from your relationship with yourself.
The way into this state of acceptance, grace and safety works best with a feather rather than a whip, an invitation rather than with an order, and encouragement rather than criticism.
No matter how this last year, month or day went, you can assess your part in it with generosity.
You have had many, many days, hours and minutes of loving others, thinking of them and making life good for them. That alone is worthy of celebration and self-acknowledgment.
You can be proud that mostly every day, whether through a smile or words, through the Internet or a touch, you made it better for others.
When you begin thinking about how loving, thoughtful and kind you have been, you win.
When you notice what you liked about your actions, the effort you put into what you do and the energy you bring to events, you win.
Loving, thoughtful and kind ways of being and speaking to yourself work wonders. Scolding yourself is a bad, long-held habit.
There is no reason to assess yourself viciously, as if you had committed murder. Those of us who judge ourselves harshly with a drive for perfection haven’t done anything of the kind.
Look for the qualities you want
When you look for the sacred, the loving, the beauty in yourself and others, you find it. This is a sure way to release judgment and criticism.
Looking for evidence of what’s working well, and where you need improvement, you figure out the best and most playful way to do better.
When you sprinkle forgiveness onto days when you are harsh, you can start a clean slate. You’re human.
Expect a little Jekyll and a little Hyde. And sometimes even a lot of both.
Small acts count.
Some days, brushing your teeth or getting out of bed is a big accomplishment.
When you consider each well-intentioned act as a good act, as doing your best, and thank yourself for it, you feel better.
Your best – yes.
Perfection – no.
Appreciate, acknowledge and thank yourself
Appreciate yourself with a warm, open heart. That’s how each loving act will fill you with new energy. This small habit can change everything.
Self-love, self-confidence and inner peace are built through a daily practice of showing up, accepting how you feel and consciously bringing kindness and compassion to your own precious heart.
Need a little joy? Contemplate that quality throughout the day. Invite and marinate in the qualities and intentions that light you up.
When you get cocky or complacent and stop these practices, you stop the results.
Do these ideas sound too simplistic? Try them. Let me know how simplistic they are.
It matters to your heart that you do these simple rituals.
Pets and children grow and thrive through love and encouragement. Your heart wants the same love, as much as your pets or kids do.
Be generous with praise. You can make your own heart glow.
On your gentle way into 2018, let the seeds of your talents and heart grow deep into roots of love – for those you care about, for the world and for yourself.
Prepare to be astonished.
Sending you love and wishing you an outstanding 2018.
P.S. If you want to use your full-range of talents unapologetically, connect with me here.