My mother’s death
was all
I could have hoped for,
for her
and for me.
She did not
die alone.
I wanted
to send her off
on songs and prayers,
to touch her
till the end,
to breathe her
to her last breath.
And so it was.
There are acts
I do well.
This one
I count
among the best.
Other acts
are more difficult
to navigate,
roles I never
mastered,
acts so simple
and natural,
for others.
I have been called
on the carpet of life
by the Force
that draws salmon
to their natal
spawning ground.
I have seen
into the underworld.
I’ve made messes.
Some are not forgiven.
They need to be held
to the fire of awareness.
I choose to know
I choose to change.
Do not pity me.
I will not flinch.
Please.
Send Helpers
for the journey.
What is wanted
of me now?
And how
can I serve
the way
I served her?
Most myself.
Most at home.
Selfless.
Present.
Tell me
what You want.
Please.
Be clear.
