Unlocking Your Self-Inflicted Cage

The shame that makes us hide certain personal facts keeps us imprisoned.  

To that end, I make myself tell you that I am 61. I don’t really want to tell you my age.

If I do, and you are in your 20s, 30s or 40s, you might discount me, and I want to play in your sandbox. I feel excited, like a kid. My soul has no idea about age. 

If I reveal the secrets, the embarrassing details, and at the same time change the meaning I am making up about those facts, instead of shame, I can make them serve me.

That’s one way to change the stories that limit me, bind me and keep me in a self-inflicted cage.

I can change my thoughts, my beliefs and the energy around them.

There’s a lot of consciousness, experience and wisdom that I didn’t have before now.

There were plenty of messes in the days when I was driven by unconscious material, in the years before the lights came on.

And there’s more wisdom and messiness to come because after all, I’m only a human.

So when you and I play together in the sandbox of our relationship, no matter what our ages, I no longer choose to believe I will be discounted. If I am, you’re not my peep.

If you are, we will create such an exciting alchemy, you with your magic and me with mine, we will be in timeless space.

Standing in Your Power Making Your Dream Real

Caged Yellow BirdsI’m a lot more urgent today. That’s a fact of what may happen to some of us after a certain stage, and you won’t know when. 

It doesn’t feel urgent until it does and then, oh my, you need to ship ship ship TODAY!

At the beginning of 2015, I participated in a 7-day blogging challenge.  Shipping is author Seth Godin’s word for getting work done and out the door. Posting your blog. Delivering.

One day the organizer of the event wrote about how she loved some of the blogs and I thought, Shit, she didn’t mention mine.

The little child in me wanted the attention, the praise – to be noticed.

The adult said, “It’s okay. Keep going sweetie. There’s room for all of us.”

That’s one way of out of cages. Turn the thought around. Take the emotional charge out.

Action is also key. You can think and dream. But staying in the land of the dream doesn’t get your dream out there.

One writer reminded me that sometimes shipping means getting in front of people.

The page is easy. It’s a great cave. I love the cave but it’s not as safe as it seems.

As I begin to tell professional women in workplaces about my new program, I want to get out in front of people.

I’m excited about what’s going to be possible when they become their own best champions and stand in their personal power.

To do that, I have to get out of my own way and preconceived ideas about networking and marketing.  

I’m an introverted girl who loves to write. But I love watching people get free more. So much more!

So I’ve got to tell people about what I’m offering, so that more birds can fly free.

Besides, leaders ask for help. Lesson one.

Ask Your Community

Open cageCommunity creates magic.

The 7-Day Challenge community had heart, wisdom, desire, vulnerability and humanity.

We encouraged each other to do what we said we would do.

When you say you’re going to do something, and stick to it, you learn to trust yourself.

You can chose to listen to your Inner Champion and Super Hero.

Use her to lock the Critic in a closet while you write or do what needs to be done. 

[Tweet “When you say you’re going to do something and stick to it, you learn to trust yourself.”]

Give & Receive Support

We encouraged each other when we got wobbly and wavered.

We wrote to each other things like this: 

You matter. Your words matter. Your voice matters. 

Your dreams and harnessing your power matter.

If you have something to say to make this world a more loving and conscious place, we want to hear your voice’s heart.

I learned so much from every blog and was reminded about something of importance from each one.

The diversity was breathtaking.

I wanted to re-post each blog to the world, for all to see, to encourage each of my new tribe mates. I re-posted and tweeted as many as I read. They are still writing and I still do.

That’s what support looks like. That’s why our communities are vitally important. They help you believe in yourself when you don’t.

Use Mentors & Coaches

Mentors tell us the truth. They open cages.

Look for the diamond. It’s there, even when you are doubtful.

If you’re going to compare yourself at all, only compare yourself to how you were one day ago, seven days ago, one year ago, five years ago. That’s all the comparing you need to do. There’s room for all of us to do good work.

Beware of pedestals and glomming onto public figures. They are human. They will disappoint when your idealism doesn’t match reality. Cut them a lot of slack. They are human. You are human. I am human. That’s a good thing.

Find your own inner leader.

And if you should find yourself at the mercy of anything or anyone that drains you of your power, get support to take it back before the door slams shut. Nothing is worth that. We’ll help you change your story.

[Tweet “Don’t be at the mercy of anything or anyone that drains you of your power. Nothing is worth that.”]

Dare BravelyRed Cardinal

Leading your world is your job.

Let’s lead. Let’s dare to live our journeys fully. Wildly. Together.

Out loud. Changing our stories. Owning our secrets.

This precious planet needs all of us shipping now.

Over to You

Do you know what drains you of your personal power? How do you recover? 

Do you want transformation? What would you be willing to do for freedom? 

I designed The Gentleness Formula so you can lead your life and work in the ways you want. One-on-one with me for 10 weeks. Tools, mindsets, actions and wisdom so you can lead your life and your work powerfully. You won’t believe the difference. 

We can chat about what you want and how to make it real. A complimentary session with me will help you figure out how. 

Comment below. I love hearing what you have to say!

P.S. Please Share 

Email to friends, post to the sites with the icons below. Much appreciated. I’d do that for you in a heartbeat.

Special thanks to Rian Kerfoot who coached me to a very inspired state. She’s fabulous and her writing is wildly magnificent. You can find her by clicking here.

With love,


© Miriam Linderman 2015

Photo credit: quinn.anya / Foter / CC BY-SA 

Photo credit: ajari / Foter / CC BY  

Photo credit: Harvey Linderman

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  1. Love it. I know caged in very well xx

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