For the past two weeks, I spent most of my time deeply listening to people I respect who wrote and spoke about white supremacy, racism, compassion, humanity, fear.
After Charlottesville, hiding was no longer an option. I sense the depth of my own ignorance and have not even touched it. So, I will do more listening and understanding.
But I don’t have to wait for anything.
People I care about in a private Facebook group told us to stop sending thoughts of love and light, and instead to use our voices or words, do something – because action is critical to stop the injustice and hatred that hurt so many.
They asked us to raise our voices and speak to those who follow us online, and that hit home. Even if there are one or two people listening or reading — that might be all it takes to make a difference, and that’s a good beginning.
I woke up
No white fragility, shame, blame, excuses or other such thing stopped me from being with the horror of what is going on in the world. I wanted to learn more and dig through my pile of privilege.
If you are someone who wonders why I am doing this surely unpopular thing, it’s because I have admired the brave ones for so long. The ones who call out the bullshit and badness. I have even adored them. Those speaking against oppression, exclusion, hate, ignorance – those are the brave ones.
Charlottesville has pushed me out. This reality is not okay with me. I want to be one of the ones I admire, even if it’s to a crowd of two.
You don’t have to march in a protest rally, if that’s not your thing. Wherever you are is a starting place.
Silence is collusion
The numbing of feelings is a dangerous silence, when we don’t let ourselves know how we feel or what we believe.
It’s not that we have to do anything as much as that we need to know ourselves.
I have been afraid. I am afraid. But I am not only the fearful person. I am not in my past. I am here now. I can do something.
If you are afraid, look into the depth of your fear. That’s how it will dissolve and free you. Not by running, which only gives fear more fuel to scare you.
And turn inward
One part of who you are is your personality-ego self. We all have that familiar one.
But when you turn within, there is a higher, more spacious and loving Self also available to you. That heart and soul place in you is not the ego.
Get familiar with that Self. You already know what gets you closer to your heart. You don’t need another book or another method.
Go to that place where you are still and can lean into the inner silence that holds and supports you. From that place of stillness, you will find quiet, peace and strength.
You will remember who you really are and then you can ask: What do I need to do for this tender world right now? For my tender world right now? For those around me?
Be curious and get closer to yourself. Always. Get closer to the YOU who wants to come out of hiding and be fully alive right now.
Without making yourself right or wrong, notice what is true in your heart. That is always the first step forward.
In service to your most powerful, fulfilled and unique YOU, I send much love.
Miriam
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