Why Change Requires Love

If you are looking for more fulfilment and happiness, what is it that you are looking for?

Do you want more consciousness? To understand yourself better?

Love? Money? A career that uses your talents and doesn’t demand all your time?

Fun? Health? Peace? Simplicity?

LoveWhatever form of happiness you are seeking that is not yet in your lap, know that every little move forward deserves YOUR recognition and YOUR love.

Even noticing that something is off and that you need help is a big deal.


Personal change requires acceptance and love. Yours. Toward yourself.

Without knowing how to treat yourself kindly and gently, it will be very difficult to go through significant change and stick with it.

Without your full support, you will wither.

So how do you do that?

Develop Kindness

Here’s something to consider.

When you learn anything new, it helps to remember that it’s taken you a lifetime of practicing one way (or no way) of doing things.

So when you are a beginner, slowly over time is a smart strategy.

CatIf you’ve been a task master in expecting yourself to learn everything yesterday, that tactic has to go.

It’s not loving or kind and will backfire in the end.

Developing kindness means that you are trading inner harshness for inner tenderness, and that takes daily gentle practice.

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If you’ve had the privilege of loving a child or an animal, you know how compassionately you cherish and encourage these priceless beings to flourish.

If you’ve ever tended a plant or nurtured a garden, you know that the right amount of fertilizing, watering and sunlight is necessary to guarantee blossoms.

Praise the Little Things

Several years ago, after a traumatic event, I was full of fear and found it difficult to focus. Holding down a job was a big deal, and driving a car felt quite dangerous.

Every time I came home safely, as the garage door opened, I’d look at myself in the rearview mirror and sincerely thank myself for having made it without an incident.

“Good girl,” I’d say, and I would mean it. I needed my own cheerleading and it felt good. No one else was there to do it.

And even if there had been, other people approving and praising are never enough. It has to come from inside.

Take that tactic with yourself.

Whether you notice a harsh inner voice attacking you for not living up to who you want to be, or even if there isn’t a harsh one, begin by saying thank you to yourself for the little things you accomplished.

Will it take time to get out of self- criticism? Most likely.

If you start today, will you already be ahead of the game? You bet.

Over To You

In what area of your life do you need your support most? What questions do you have for me about this tactic?

P.S. Please Share

If you think this will benefit someone else, please share by clicking the icons below. Thank you for that!

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© Miriam Linderman 2015

Top photo credit: Skley / Foter / CC BY-ND 
Bottom photo credit: strelitzia — / Foter / CC BY
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  1. Here’s to thriving over withering!!

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