In 2010, when I began coach training and certification, I was in a corporate senior change management role.
My boss had signed up for training and invited me to join him.
He said I’d love it and that I’d be a natural.
Sounded like a great idea.
And then during the first of many monthly weekends, they asked me about my life purpose and dreams.
I remember getting really mad.
What do you mean, life purpose and dreams? Eff you, I thought.
For the previous two years, my life purpose – since I literally had to plan an escape from a 17-year marriage and move to a new city – had been to heal from trauma, hold a job and survive.
All my limited energy was going into that and learning how to live on my own.
Well, I cried every single weekend in those rooms, and felt a stirring I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Who Knew What Could Be Possible?
I didn’t know I could have a dream.
Or that I was already on purpose – just by being alive.
I didn’t know that I my thoughts weren’t real.
Or that thinking created my feelings.
I didn’t know that there was something that was mine to create that had nothing to do with my career.
(Wasn’t everything about career?)
I didn’t know that I didn’t have to abandon my soul to the well-being of my partner, family, job or anything.
(And I had abandoned myself plenty.)
I didn’t know that I could rekindle the passions I had buried long ago.
(Career and responsibility eclipsed everything.)
I didn’t know that my imagination was not dead, but rather wasn’t used in my best interests.
Used in my beliefs – beliefs I had were not helpful, especially when I’d told myself I had to stay in a marriage (no matter what) because I’d made vows.
Nor were beliefs permanent truths.
What a revelation!
I surely didn’t know that I was as frightened as I was, and that my coaches would teach me how to change my thinking, my beliefs, my behaviours, my vision of what was possible.
Or that I was ultimately responsible for myself, and that circumstances didn’t have an impact on my reactions or my choices.
Think about that one too.
It was revolutionary to take on that level of responsibility, to change my thinking that then changed my feelings about everything.
Ode To The Great Ones
My coaching competencies in themselves did not change my life.
The coaches who had already done so for themselves did that – and are still doing that for me.
They midwifed me into possibilities.
There’s always something old to discard, something new to birth, and I can’t see what I can’t see – by myself.
I cannot see my blind spots and I’m smart (and lucky!) enough to know it.
I can’t break out of deep fear alone, but as soon as I see the fallacy of my thinking, I am free to take a different action.
Until then, I may be stuck for a while.
What I know for sure is that if I had not had the coaching and wisdom of some great coaches, I would not be writing this or being who I am today and who I am still becoming.
I would have been aging as I had lived, and frankly, it was not inspiring.
We do better when we know better.
My own experience has convinced me that it is possible for any of us to age lusciously, creatively and optimistically.
It is possible to learn that what we believe about life is mostly a misunderstanding about how life really works.
You and I are much more creative than we think, and we can always learn to think more clearly with the right external eyes, if we choose to find the right help out there.
I salute all of us who strive to evolve our humanity, our consciousness and our contribution to a world that needs elders, wisdom and love now more than ever.
Over to You
What area of your life needs more joy in it?
Without that joy, what’s happening to your body and soul?
Given your current situation, what do you want to create?
A Playful Conversation Invitation for You
The first conversation is held on the phone or the Internet.
It is meant to be of true service and to help to you, free of charge.
This is a way for us to assess whether I am the right person to help you or whether I can refer you elsewhere.
By the end, you will have a new perspective on your situation.
And we’ll keep it light, playful and creative.
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I appreciate you for doing it.